HOW TO LIE AND SUCCEED

We've all done it - told a little white lie to get a job, embellished a little here, omitted little things a little there, but Clare Hopping set out to find out the truth behind people's CV's and found out what happens when they get caught out

For most, lying has become a way of life – whether it’s where you were last night when your girlfriend ‘needed’ you (and you were down the pub watching football), or pulling a sickie. But lying to get a job is always a tricky situation – how do you know the interviewer won’t catch you out, and what are the consequences if they find out you lied?

Exaggerate your qualifications
Scotty Clark applied for a job in IT recruitment. The 40-year-old was turned down because the company wanted a graduate.
“After returning to the UK after working in Berlin, I applied for a job in IT recruitment, only to be told that

they wanted a graduate, which I wasn’t. I applied for another job in the same industry, but said I had a degree in communications from Manchester Polytechnic. No one asked for the certificate and the job was mine. In fact, the graduates employed by the company all left within a week because they couldn’t hack it!”
“The basic rate was £12,000 a year, but with commission it took my yearly salary up to £42,000. I was employed to cold-call large businesses to see it they needed a high-end IT technician. It was around the hype about the Millennium Bug, so demand was high. These technicians were paid between £500 and £600 per day, and we took 10 per cent of that home as commission.”

“If I’d been caught out at the beginning, I would have been sacked straight away. After a year or so, me and the boss were out one night, and we were both pretty pissed. I told him that I had never been to university and he laughed in my face! I had proved myself, so there was no problem. I even think if I’d said I’d had sex with little girls, he still would have kept me on, because I can do the job well.”
Employers will hardly ever ask for proof of exam or qualification results. If they do request a certificate, scan in a mate’s, and edit the name, and hope that no one will ever know!

Give reliable references
23-year-old Michael Menzie works as an engineer for the army. He lied about his references to get in, and no one checked the truth. “Mostly, I lied about my references because I wanted to take away any possibility that I wouldn't be able to join, and I needed the job to be able to pay child support. I didn't want to be a dead-beat, and the Army seemed to be the best way to be able to support my son and take care of him by providing insurance, and money for his future. As it turned out, the money was pretty poor, and I never had time off to even see my child. Now I’m going more and more broke because of it.”

“My lying has put me into a tight spot, but not in the way that would be assumed. As it stands, the lying and irresponsibility of the people in the Army has got me into a very bad situation. The fact that I lied to join only means that I now can't get out of the Army, because I lied so well to get in. I have proved myself to the officers, and now they won’t let me go because I’m a good soldier.”

“If you're willing to do things by lying, then you obviously don’t care about the chance of getting in trouble at the time. I don't believe that lying is ever good, although it does tend to be the lesser of many evils.”
Ensure that your references will give you a positive report; don’t give your manager’s details if you slept with his wife, and don’t give the details of your ex. Make sure any disagreements are resolved before you leave your previous company – buy everyone a drink at the pub and flirt with anyone higher up the career ladder than you.

Research
Make sure you know exactly what you’re expected to do in the job you’ve applied for. If it’s as a male escort, make sure you’re good at charming the ladies. If it’s an IT technician, ensure you know how to turn on a computer (or restart – that’s the only cure for a broken computer).

“I lied about having previous waitering experience, and when I got offered a job at a restaurant, they believed me, and didn’t follow up any references. It turned up pretty badly as they expected me to know what I was doing,” says 21-year-old student, Andrew Butler.

“My first shift was a disaster. I had five tables in my section, and I got confused with orders, and table numbers. I took the wrong food to the wrong tables, had no idea what the dishes had in them when people asked, and threw an ice bucket over one of my customers right at the beginning of my shift. While everyone else was earning about £40 in tips, I got £4. I only worked four shifts before they stopped booking me.”

Be selective with the truth
There are certain things that employers need to know (like your name and address), but a lot that they don’t. 25-year-old Johnny Blair applied for a £16,000 job in Halifax without telling them he’d been sacked from his previous jobs, “ I worked in Tesco between1998 and 2001. I was sacked because I told a customer to f**k off. I had received 2 warnings before this. Then when I was working at Halifax straight after, I was sacked because I increased the interest rates as a joke on the website.”

“If I’d told employers I had been sacked, I wouldn’t get the job. Now every time I am sacked from a job, I leave it off my application, and think of a different excuse for why I left, like ‘got bored’, ‘too monotonous’ or ‘uninspiring’. Companies won’t employ someone who has been asked to leave.”

If you’ve been sacked, say you left for personal reasons. Unless you give their name as a reference, your potential employer won’t contact your ex-boss. If they do go snooping around, say you acted that way because you were ‘going through a tough time’, and that the company had a grudge against you because of your fantastic abilities.

Another thing not to surrender on job applications is a criminal record. That is, unless you have the appearance of The Godfather, because you’ll probably give the game away as soon as you enter the room. Even then, you might get away with it. 20 year-old Michael Springer has never revealed his criminal history in a job interview; “I know that if I put down my prison history, my application will be thrown out.”

During the interview
Act the same throughout the interview
According to psychologist Dr Paul Seager, employers conduct group interviews to judge how a candidate acts when they are relaxed. During the group session, they can set a ‘baseline’, and compare this to reactions during one-on-one interviews. If this pattern shifts, they know the candidate is uncomfortable – an obvious sign of a lie. In this situation, make sure you react the same during all parts of the interview. Maybe smoke a joint of marijuana before the interview to ensure ultimate relaxation. This way, employers won’t spot any slip-ups, especially if they question you about doubtful parts of your CV. Laugh your way out of it, and of course, you may have to elaborate on the truth more the better the job.

Everyone tells white lies and out although one little white lie can culminate into a huge vendetta of myth, lying is a man’s forte, and we almost always succeed. If you want a job badly you're going to out-sell yourself to some extent. Employers must be aware of that, and unless you lie about something like an ability to ride horseback or juggle, then you should either learn very quickly or lie in the comfort zone you have surrounded yourself in with the prospect of being found out. But who can judge whether these five men are telling the truth about lying or not?